Gratefulness

One secret tool that tempers the pain of depression and anxiety is a gratefulness practice. Those of us with big “T” Trauma and/or little “t” trauma have established neuropathways that are negative, destructive, and painful. A neuropathway is like a little rivet in your brain. Think about how water runs down a field. It runs down the pathway that is indented or engraved into the field – where the water has made a path in the past. On your brain, the water is your thoughts. Your thoughts automatically follows the previous pathways that have been carved out. This pathway, based on a negative past experience or fear of the future, can be dark and not helpful in the current moment.

Creating new thoughts creates new neuropathways. Yes, you can create your own thoughts with intentionality. You cannot help that your old neuropathways are there, but you can work to create new ones. (Caveat: please forgive my very elementary explanation of this, and note: I am not a brain scientist!)

My gratefulness practice involves listing things I am grateful for in the morning in my journal. I don’t list big things that everyone says like “family, my house, etc.” I learned this from Rachel Hollis (who learned it from Tony Robbins). She recommends finding the small things that you are grateful for and focus on those. I list as many as I can think of each morning, usually about 4 to 6. They are things like: grocery delivery, my cat snuggling with me, a great yoga session, time to read a fiction book, a good conversation with a coworker, etc. I actually write “I am thankful for xxx” in an effort to cement the thought in my mind. Additionally, as I try to sleep at night, I will list some things in my head that I am grateful for. When I lay in bed and I am trying to fall asleep, the past negative thoughts arise. As soon as I turn out the light, my brain relives everything bad that has ever happened to me. So I am trying to shift my thoughts by turning my attention towards gratitude.

I hope this helps you. My friend has recently started a Gratefulness Group after doing some training. I have also heard of people having a partnership with a friend where they text each other one thing they are grateful for each day. That sounds very positive and affirming. Try out gratefulness in your own way, and let me know how you practice gratefulness.